


Different Sort Of Puppy

by TheseusInTheMaze



Category: Buzzfeed The Try Guys (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety, M/M, Puppy Play, Sub Drop, blowjob, handjob
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-18 15:12:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15488697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze
Summary: Zach, watching Eugene playing with Bowie, gets an idea.





	Different Sort Of Puppy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fringewrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fringewrites/gifts).



> I have a lot more experience doing puppy play than I do with actual dogs. I do apologize if I got stuff wrong.

“Whosagooboy? Whosabesboy?”

“I wish you talked to me with the same amount of passion you talk to my dog,” said Zach, from his spot on the couch.

“If you were even half as cute as Bowie, I might,” said Eugene, as Bowie tried to lick his face, and then he was holding Bowie’s face in his hands, rubbing Bowie’s ears, shaking Bowie’s head gently, just enough to make the puppy wriggle. 

“Are you saying you think my dog is cuter than me?”

Zach was actually… pouting, and Eugene glanced up at him, and grinned.

“I mean,” Eugene said, “you’re also the one I’m having sex with.” 

… and then they both paused, and their faces had almost identical disgusted faces.

“Thanks for that,” Zach said. “I may never get a boner again.”

Eugene kissed Bowie on the top of the head, and Bowie licked along his jaw.

“I’m sorry for that,” said Eugene said. 

“You’re genuinely sorry for that.”

“Genuinely.” 

“I didn’t know you had genuine emotion in you.” 

“Of course I have genuine emotion in me,” said Eugene, and he kissed the top of Bowie’s head again, and then Bowie was wriggling away, to flop onto the floor, panting, completely out of energy the way puppies sometimes get. “How can I not have genuine emotions, for such a cute little guy?” 

“You don’t think I’m cute?”

Zach was pouting, and Eugene rested his chin on top of Zach’s knee, looking up at him with big eyes. 

“You’re very cute,” Eugene said. “If I was a puppy, I’d follow you around with puppy dog eyes all day.”

“If you were a puppy, your eyes would _always_ be puppy dog eyes,” said Zach, but he patted Eugene on the head. 

“Do you want me to be your puppy? I can be a good puppy. I’ll pee on your carpet and keep you up all night whining and chew on your shoes….”

“You wouldn’t do any of that,” said Zach, and he took Eugene’s face in his hands, the exact same way Eugene had been holding Bowie’s face.

It was kind of odd, admittedly, but… well, considering some of the shit they’d done on camera…..

“I totally would.”

“I dunno, I could see you as a good puppy,” said Zach, and he shook Eugene’s face, the exact same way. “Good puppies don’t do that.”

Eugene snorted. 

“No?” 

“No. Good puppies walk on leashes and don’t beg and stay off the furniture.”

Eugene raised an eyebrow, but he didn’t tell Zach to let go of him. 

“That’s what good boys do,” said Zach. “Are you my good boy? Who’s my good boy?”

Fuck, he was talking to Eugene in a sillier tone of voice than he used on Bowie. 

Um. 

Why was he getting a boner?

… he was kinkier than he thought he was.

Of course he was.

You always are. 

He was still blushing, but he wasn’t arguing, as Zach kept holding on to his face, still shaking it.

“Who’s my good boy? Who’s a good puppy?” 

Eugene kept giving him a Look. 

He wasn’t saying “stop,” though. 

Um.

“Who’s a good boy?”

That same goddamn… baby talk he used on Bowie. 

Why was he getting a boner from this?

He was a grown ass man, getting a boner from a stupid, stupid joke.

"Who's my best boy?"

More face shaking, and this was... getting dumb.

Eugene wasn't pulling away.

"I think that Bowie might get jealous if you keep saying that," Eugene said, some attempt to keep things... chill.

Actual sincerity - especially about weird shit - was anxiety inducing.

"Eh, Bowie can share," said Zach. "Can we stop talking about my dog now, please?"

"You're the one who started it," Eugene said. 

"Well, I'm stopping it," said Zach, and he leaned down, and kissed the top of Eugene's head.

The same way he kissed Bowie's head.

Oh god.

"You gonna be a good boy?"

"What does being a good boy entail?"

"... I don't know," said Zach. "I didn't think that far ahead."

"That's not my problem," said Eugene, and he made to get up. 

And there was a hand in his hair. 

A hand actually, like... curled in his hair. 

God. 

Um.

Crap.

Why was this getting hot?

He had a boner.

Why the fuck did he have a boner?

That was the problem with joking around - before you know it, you're on all fours with a boner from being talked to like a dog. 

Zach was looking down at him, and it was hard to understand what exactly his face was doing, but it was hard to tell from this angle. 

"You know," Eugene said, and his heart was beating so loud in his ears that he could barely hear anything, "as hairy as you are, you should be the puppy." 

"So you're a puppy now?"

"Am I?"

"Well, you said that I should be the puppy," said Zach. "That implies that you're the puppy."

"Only if you're looking at it from a certain angle," said Eugene. 

And then Zach lost his composure, and he was snickering. 

"... from this angle, you can probably see up my nose," said Zach, and he was laughing. 

Eugene rolled his eyes, and he pressed closer, resting his chin on Zach's thigh, because... well, fuck it.

"Woof," he said, and he tried to look up at Zach with limpid eyes. 

"Oh my god," Zach said, and he pulled on Eugene's hair, pulling his head back just enough. "I don't know how to fuckin' respond to that, god."

"You know," Eugene said, "god backwards is dog."

"You don't say," said Zach, in a voice as dry as old bones.

"I do," said Eugene.

There was an awkward silence.

There was... something in the air - something complicated, or maybe not complicated, but something neither of them seemed to have much experience with. 

... fuck it.

Eugene licked Zach's leg.

It was through the denim of Zach's jeans, and it tasted faintly like the pizza grease that had dripped there ( _ew_ ), but... it made Zach shiver.

"You gonna be a good boy?"

Zach cleared his throat, and he held a hand out towards Eugene's face.

Eugene licked Zach's palm, carefully.

It didn't taste like anything, thankfully.

"Good boy," Zach said, and he was still running the fingers of one hand through Eugene's hair, as Eugene licked his palm again. 

Eugene nuzzled into Zach's hand, and he whined in the back of his throat.

"What's wrong?"

Zach took on the same concerned voice he used for Bowie, and Eugene had to fight back the urge to roll his eyes. 

Oh god.

This was going to get weird.

... "get," as if it hadn't already gotten weird. 

It had gotten weird. 

It had weird.

Owned weird.

Okay, yeah, no, his brain was just going in circles, and that wasn't a thing he needed.

So he leaned forward, and he pressed his face between Zach's legs, nosing at the seam of Zach's jeans.

... and Zach's cock was right up against his cheek.

"Doggy want a bone?"

And whatever mood had been building... crashed.

Crashed like a goddamn plane, and Eugene pulled back, to look up at Zach, who was blushing, rubbing his hands together. 

"Wow," Eugene said, and it was his regular voice, as whatever weird headspace he'd been slipping into melted away like so much mist in the morning sun. "I think that might have been the least sexy thing I've ever heard."

"It can't be the _least_ sexy thing you've ever heard," Zach argued. "There has to be shit that's less sexy."

"Well, okay, yeah, but most of that is stuff that involves, like, draining subcutaneous wounds, or maybe something to do with poop," said Eugene. "That was the least sexy trying to be sexy thing I've ever heard."

"They can't all be winners," Zach groused.

Eugene snorted, and he reached out for Zach's fly. 

Zach looked down at Eugene's hands, and he raised an eyebrow. 

"Really?"

"What, really?"

"You made a horrible joke. If I refused to have sex with you every time you make a horrible joke, we'd never have sex _ever_."

"Oh," said Zach. "I hadn't thought of it like that." 

"I can tell," said Eugene, and then he was snickering, even as he pulled Zach's cock out, and okay... well, there it was. 

Eugene was intimately familiar at this point, what with one thing and another.

He leaned forward, and he kissed the head of Zach's cock, then let it slide inside of his mouth, and then it was resting on his lower lip. 

He took it deeper into his mouth, and Zach gasped, his fingers tangled in Eugene's hair, and Eugene rasped his tongue along the underside of Zack's cock, and Zack's fingers were in Eugene's hair. 

Eugene took it down - he took it all the way down, his nose pressed against Zach's belly, and Zach was shuddering, his heels digging into the sofa.

This, at least, was familiar. 

A blowjob was a blowjob was a blowjob.

He knew how to give a blowjob - he even had some experience giving _Zach_ blowjobs.

And it was... it was good, it was familiar, it was hot, and he was drooling down his own chin, puddling into Zach's groin and the wiry hair there, and then he was beginning to gag, just a little bit. 

He was beginning to suck harder, and it was... oh god, yeah, this was getting intense, and he was going to gag if he wasn’t careful, but that was fine, this was all fine.

There was some kind of quiet in his head, a quiet he wasn't really used to.

Not that he was going to complain too hard.

It was nice for the dull roar in the back of his head to finally - _finally_ \- have some quiet.

He bobbed his head, and he kept sucking, doing things with his tongue, drooling, generally just losing himself in the sensation of having his face fucked, losing himself in the warmth of Zach's body, in the scent of it, the taste of it. 

Zach's hands were beginning to tighten in his hair, and then Zach was... god, fuck, Zach was almost completely pulling his cock out, and it was just the tip of his cock resting on Eugene's lower lip, and there was cum on his tongue, which... ew, but a satisfying sort of ew.

Wow, he was some kind of far gone if his mind was chasing itself like this. 

But he looked up at Zach, and Zach was looking down at him, his eyes bright. 

"Fuck," Zach said. 

"Um?"

"Good boy," said Zach, and he patted Eugene on the head.

Eugene tried to blink himself back into his regular... self, but it was still somehow far off.

Huh.

He was horny, but that was happening somewhere else.

Sort of.

"Eugene?"

Zach was looking down at him with a worried expression. 

"Mmm?"

"I'm fine," said Eugene, sitting back, and he was licking his lips. 

There was some cum dripping down his chin.

He was a mess.

"Let's get you cleaned up," said Zach, and he was standing up, leaving Eugene behind.

Zach came back, and he had a washcloth.

"C'mon, let's... clean you up, good boy," said Zach, and he was using the puppy voice.

Eugene wasn't bothered. 

He let himself not be bothered. 

He just... sat there.

He let Zach wipe his face off, and then he was... what was he doing?

He didn't know.

"What do you want, buddy?"

Zach's voice was quiet. 

Eugene shrugged.

"Can you talk?"

"Yeah," said Eugene. "Why wouldn't I be able to?"

Zach shrugged. 

"Sometimes people get into some kind of headspace," said Zach. "I thought, uh... I thought maybe you might have."

"Oh," said Zach. "I, uh, I think I'm okay."

"You want me to... do anything for you?"

His eyes flicked down along the line of Eugene's body.

"... later?" 

Eugene's skin didn't seem to fit - he was weirdly... out of sorts, although he couldn't put his finger on why. 

"I can't tell what your face is saying right now," said Zach, and Eugene snorted in spite of himself.

"What person says that?"

"Plenty of people say that," said Zach. 

"I'm... I don't know what I'm feeling right now," said Eugene, and that was a level of emotional honesty he didn't usually go for. 

"No?"

"No," said Eugene.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't know," said Eugene, and okay, maybe he was getting annoyed.

Huh.

"Well, uh... I'll leave you alone," said Zach, and he was giving Eugene a bit of a Look. "I'm gonna get dinner ready."

"Right," said Eugene, and he leaned back against the couch, tilting his head back.

His head was a fucking mess right now - a mess of... static. 

What the fuck. 

He pressed his face into his knees, keeping his eyes closed. 

And then Zach was tapping him on the shoulder.

"I got you a glass of water," said Eugene. "I'll leave you alone after this, okay?"

"Okay," Eugene said quietly, and he took the glass into his hand.

He drank it down, and he put it up on the end table. 

He leaned back, and he closed his eyes, trying to sort out whatever was going on in his head. 

What was he feeling?

... that was a good question.

Okay.

He was... he was embarrassed, but why was he embarrassed?

It wasn't like sex was embarrassing.

He was kind of new at the whole "subspace" (or whatever the fuck that had been), but did it usually leave people feeling so irritable?

... oh god, he was embarrassed about the dog thing.

Eugene, who thought he was shameless, was embarrassed to do weird kink shit.

And here he'd thought he was shameless.

Go figure.

He sighed, and then he snorted, because... okay, this was fuckin' stupid. 

Seriously, fuckin' stupid.

But at least he'd more or less figured it out. 

That helped.

A little bit.

He stood up, and he made his way towards the bathroom, splashing water over his face. 

And then he went to the kitchen, to find Zach scrolling through the delivery app.

"Sorry," said Eugene. 

"Hm?"

Zach looked up from his phone. 

"For being a jerk," Eugene said, and he shoved his hands into his pockets, clearing his throat. 

"You weren't really being a jerk," said Zach. "But thanks."

"So why are you thanking me, if you think that I wasn't being a jerk?"

"Because I appreciate the apology regardless," said Zach. 

"That's emotionally mature," said Eugene.

"I do my best."

Eugene snorted. 

"You can't take a compliment, can you?"

"I'm working on it," Zach mumbled.

"... can I ask you a weird question?"

"Yeah?" 

"Do you... do you ever get, like, self conscious about sexy stuff? Not just, like, sexy stuff, but the... weirder sexy stuff."

"You mean like when we went to that one dominatrix?" 

"Yeah, something like that," said Eugene. 

Zach shrugged. 

"I mean," he said, "I think I took it a bit more, y'know, seriously than you guys did -"

"You were the only person who was with someone who knew what they were doing."

"Fair enough," said Zach, and he grinned. "But regardless, I guess there was a bit of me that felt it was kind of weird, but...."

He shrugged.

Eugene nodded.

He got it.

Sort of.

"Aren't you pretty much shameless?"

"I've got shame," Eugene said, "just... about different stuff."

Zach snorted. 

"And some of it is weird kink shit?"

"Some of it is weird kink shit."

"So what kind of weird kink shit has you so twisted up?"

"... is it, like, normal to feel weird about doing kinky shit?"

"I mean," said Zach, and he was blushing, just a bit. "I kinda just... push past the embarrassment, like I do with everything else."

"Hm?"

"Dude," said Zach, and he gave Eugene a Look, "I'm literally known as "the clit guy" around certain circles. I've gotten a prostate exam on camera. I'm pretty much shameless at this point."

"Evidently," said Eugene.

"And I mean, this would be... what, puppy play?"

"Yeah, I guess," said Eugene, and he was rubbing the back of his neck.

He shoved his hands back into his pockets, for want of anything else to do with them. 

“That’s a whole subculture,” said Zach. 

“How do you know that?”

“I read up on it,” said Zach. 

“... why?”

“I thought it looked neat.”

“You read up on a weird fetish subculture because you thought it looked _neat_?”

That was, quite possibly, the most Zach thing that Eugene had ever heard. 

“I mean,” said Zach, “weird subcultures are always kinda neat. As someone who’s from one of the oldest ones -”

“Oldest ones?”

“Yeah. I’m Jewish.”

“... you think of that as a subculture?”

“I mean… we’re not exactly a large part of the community.” 

“You’re a large part of your own community,” Eugene pointed out.

Bowie was coming out, pressing against Eugene’s legs, and Eugene leaned down, scritching Bowie’s ears.

“You’re not making much sense,” said Zach. “You want something to eat?”

“Do you _have_ something to eat?”

“I’ve got stuff to nibble. The actual, like, food, is going to be here soon, but if you need food you can have something to nibble on.”

“Nibble,” Eugene said, and he was grinning, as he kept petting Bowie. 

“What? It’s a legitimate term,” said Zach. 

Eugene grinned at Zach. 

God, Zach was such a dork. 

“It _is_!” 

“It is,” Eugene agreed. “It totally is.”

* * *

They ate Chinese food together, at Zach’s kitchen table, and at one point, Zach looked sidelong at Eugene’s face, his expression thoughtful. 

“Would you ever want to try eating off of the floor?”

“What, like… straight off the floor?”

“Not _straight_ off the floor,” said Zach. “But, like, if you wanted, I could get you a special bowl.”

“A special bowl,” Eugene said, his voice flat.

“We’d have to put Bowie in the bathroom,” Zach said, his tone thoughtful. 

It was the same damn way he always went, planning their next video, their next idea…. 

“Hm?”

“If you’ve got food for you on the floor, Bowie is gonna get into it.”

“Right.” 

“Do you want, like, gear?”

“What?”

“Gear,” said Zach. “You know, like… puppy stuff.”

“Like chew toys and stuff like that?”

Fuck, but this was a weird conversation to have.

“Yeah, and, like… you know… the puppy stuff. Puppy play gear stuff.”

“What kinda puppy play gear stuff?”

"Like... hoods, stuff like that." 

"Hoods," Eugene said. 

"Yeah. They've got the ones made of leather, or polyurethane."

Zach was so goddamn earnest about all of it.

Like goddamn. 

"I dunno if I'm ready to spend, like, genuine money on some kind of fetish gear for stuff I don't know if I like or not," said Eugene.

"Yeah, fair," said Zach. "... shit. Am I being too, like, eager?"

"It's cute," said Eugene. "I never really saw you being into the weird kinky stuff."

"Dude," Zach said, "I have literally been spanked on camera by a professional dominatrix." 

"Well, yeah, but that was for a video."

"Still," said Zach. "I'm... I'm not some precious vanilla bean or whatever."

"You sound like one of the kids from Tumblr," Eugene said, his tone dry. 

Zach snorted. 

"I've just been browsing the tag too long, I guess," said Zach. 

Eugene snorted this time.

And then there was a chin on his leg, and he looked down, to see Bowie staring up at him with big, soulful eyes.

"This is my dinner," he told Bowie, but he patted the dog on the head. 

"So I'm not, like, freaking you out or anything with all the... interest?"

"Nah," said Eugene. "You think a little bit of excitement would be a turn off for me?"

Zach shrugged.

"You seemed to drop out of headspace pretty hard," he said.

"Well," said Eugene, "I'll be okay with it now. I think."

"Right," said Zach.

"Right," Eugene echoed.

There was an awkward moment, and then they made eye contact, and they were snickering.

It was going to be okay.

It was all weird as fuck, but it would be okay.

* * *

"Do you want me to do anything about that?"

"Mmm?"

Zach's hand was on his inner thigh, as they sat on the couch together, about to watch a horror movie. 

And Zach's hand moved in closer.

"... later," said Eugene. 

"Fair enough," said Zach, and he gave Eugene's thigh a squeeze, then let go. 

Eugene... needed some time to think about stuff.

He wasn't up for some kind of sexy shit right now, he just wanted... affection.

Maybe he'd be in the mood to do some kind of sexy shit later, but for now... not so much.

He closed his eyes, leaning against Zach, and he let his eyes slide shut, as whatever it was that he was feeling slid over him.

* * *

Eugene and Zach went to bed, and Eugene slept like the dead.

He had quiet dreams, and Bowie slept at the foot of the bed, right up against Eugene's left foot. 

Then it was up and off to work, to get on with doing all the things that they needed to do. 

* * *

The whole... puppy play thing didn't really come up again (apart from Eugene doing his own research and jerking off at two in the morning about three nights later) until they did another dumb skit.

A dumb skit, where Ned bought a few different animal costumes.

Including a headband with dog ears.

And okay, Ned had gotten those for Keith, and Keith had worn them for the filming of the skit, but then Zach was grabbing them, and he was handing them to Eugene. 

"Try them on," he told Eugene, and his tone was a bit too... casual.

Zach was blushing. 

So was Eugene.

"Say please," said Eugene, his tone flat.

"Please try them on," said Zach.

And Eugene... did.

The headband actually fit his head pretty well, and he adjusted it carefully, the legs of the headband behind his ears.

It kind of dug in, truth be told.

Zach was looking at him with an interested expression.

Eugene flushed, and why was he so damn embarrassed?

He'd done weird kinky shit.

... but not, like, undignified kinky shit.

Was that the whole thing?

He was afraid of losing his dignity?

... that got him snickering.

Like, seriously?

Wow.

"What's so funny?"

Zach raised an eyebrow. 

"Nothing," Eugene said, and he cleared his throat, still blushing.

"No way. Tell me."

"I'm, uh... I'm just having a personal revelation."

"A personal revelation that's making you snicker?"

"Something like that, yeah." 

"I didn't know that Eugene could have personal revelations," said Keith. 

"I've got emotional depth," Eugene protested.

He kept the headband on, though. 

... why not, right?

"Yeah," said Keith. "At a good deal of depth."

"... what?"

"It made more sense in my head," said Keith, looking faintly self conscious, then laughing. 

"I'm sure it did," Eugene said, deadpan. 

Zach was full on cackling.

Of course he was.

* * * 

"They're opening up a BDSM cafe in town," said Ned, a few days later. 

The four of them were seated around the table, talking about this and that.

"A BDSM cafe?"

"Yeah, like the one they've got in San Francisco," said Ned.

"You've been to the BDSM cafe in San Francisco?"

Eugene gave him a sidelong look, and he was grinning, just a bit. 

"I've done some interesting things without you guys, y'know," said Ned.

Eugene snorted, and he took a slug of water.

"So what about the BDSM cafe?"

"We could try doing an episode on it," said Ned. "If they're okay with it, obviously."

"Obviously," Keith agreed.

"So if anyone would be willing to go drop in and talk to them at some point, that'd be great."

"Right," said Zach.

He was looking... downright nervous.

Huh.

Eugene filed that away for another day, and then the subject moved on.

* * * 

"Let's go out," Zach said, that evening.

"Hm?"

They'd left early - well, early for them - and had vaguely planned to do... something.

Well, no, Eugene had explicitly planned to stay with Zach, and his dogs were being looked after.

But... going out?

Hm.

"We could... go home, then maybe go to that cafe that Ned was talking about," said Zach. 

He had his hands stuffed into his pockets.

He was looking almost... too nonchalant. 

"Yeah?"

"I heard you could get your drinks in a dog bowl. At the cafe, I mean."

"Where'd you hear that?"

Drinking from a dog bowl, in public.

Um.

That seemed to be a bit much. 

"Oh, you know. Around."

They were walking towards Zach's car.

"I mean," Eugene said, and he cleared his throat, "I'd be okay with, uh, with maybe doing that in a place that's not a cafe."

"Oh," said Zach.

"Unless it's all of us doing it," he added quickly. "If it's just on camera, it's... whatever."

"Right," said Zach. 

"... I'll drink out of a bowl on the floor," Eugene burst out. "In your kitchen, I mean." 

"... what?"

"Small steps," Eugene said, and he laughed, a little nervous. "For, uh... you know. If you still want to try the puppy stuff."

"I might have... I might have gotten you something," said Zach, and he was looking downright _bashful_. "I wasn't thinking with my... brain."

"What kind of something?"

"Something puppy play related," said Zach, as the two of them got into his car, and he turned it on.

"Oh," said Eugene. "Would you want to, uh... to do a scene?"

"Sure," said Zach, and he looked... he looked eager. "If you're okay with it, obviously."

"I wouldn't have offered it if I wasn't okay with it," Eugene said.

"Right. Right."

There was an awkward silence.

"So what did you get me?"

"... some puppy stuff," said Zach.

"What kind of puppy stuff?"

"... knee pads. And, uh... you know. Um." 

Zach was blushing very hard.

"Don't you have the knee pads left over from when we did the roller derby stuff?"

"This is a different kind of knee pad," said Zach.

Eugene snorted, and he patted Zach on the knee.

"You're cute," he told Zach.

"What'd I do?"

Zach leaned into his seat, and he sighed, then turned the car on. 

"You planned stuff," said Eugene. "You're a planner."

"Someone has to," said Zach. 

"It's appreciated," said Eugene, then, "wait."

"Wait?"

They were driving now. 

"You said you got something else too."

"Oh. Right. I got, uh... you know, puppy gloves."

"Puppy gloves?"

"They're like boxing gloves. Only for puppy play."

"Oh," said Eugene.

"I can find something else to do with them if you don't want them," Zach said quickly. "It was kind of an impulse purchase."

"Well," said Eugene, "I'm sure there's some kind of charity to give to kinksters in need or something."

Zach seemed to find that deliriously hilarious, and he was cackling as they stopped at a red light, covering his face with one hand.

"Oh my god," Zach mumbled.

"What?"

"Kinksters in need," Zach wheezed.

"It could totally be a thing," Eugene said. "It could!"

"I mean, I'm sure it could," said Zach, "but I'm just... imagining the ads for that. You know, like... those ads for the ASPCA, with _Arms of the Angels_ playing in the background."

"For only twenty dollars a month," Eugene intoned in his best announcer voice, "you can make sure little DomDick69 has a flogger of his very own."

He was getting in on it as well now, and laughing just as hard. 

They fired different ridiculous ad copy back and forth at each other, as they made their way back to Zach's apartment. 

* * *

They came home. 

Bowie was walked and fed, and then they were sitting on the couch, awkward, avoiding eye contact.

"Do you want to see it?"

"It?"

"The, uh... the stuff."

Zach cleared his throat.

"Right," said Eugene. "Sorry. Got a bit, uh... lost in thought."

"Right," said Zach. "I'll be, uh, I'll be right back." 

Eugene sat on Zach's couch, and he stared straight ahead.

He tried to ignore the bit of his brain that was telling him that this was stupid.

It was stupid, but all things in life worth doing are stupid.

Was this any more stupid than any of the other shit that he'd done before?

... okay, so he wasn't doing it on camera, which made it weirder, but....

What, he could ask Zach to bring a camera out, to make it less weird?

And then Eugene snorted, because his own neurosis were kind of funny, when looked at from a bit of a distance. 

He sighed, and he leaned back into the couch, his hands behind his head.

This was going to be okay.

It was going to be weird, but it was going to be okay.

* * *

Zach came back with a duffel bag, looking sheepish.

"You hid your kink stuff in your own house?"

"It's handy," Zach said. "What if, like, Keith came over and wanted to borrow a shirt and then found this in my closet?"

"Why would Keith want to borrow a shirt?"

"I don't know," Zach said. "It's the first thing that came to mind when I was thinking of Keith in my closet." 

"Fair enough," said Eugene. "So. Let's do this."

"You should, uh... you should maybe take some clothes off," Zach said, and he was licking his lips. 

His expression was a little glassy, because of course it was. 

"Which clothes?"

Eugene fiddled with the hem of his shirt. 

“Shirt. Pants. Socks too, I think.”

“What if my feet get cold?”

“I’ll get you special socks,” said Zach. 

“You’re in a giving mood,” said Eugene, but he was pulling his shirt up and off, then undoing his belt.

Zach wasn’t even hiding his leer.

Of course he wasn’t.

And then Eugene was sitting on the couch in just his underwear, which wasn’t _exactly_ a new turn of events, but… still.

“Dogs don’t go on the couch,” Zach said, and he cleared his throat.

He was blushing.

“RIght,” said Eugene. 

“So… I… I saved the puppy ears,” said Zach, and he was taking the headband out of the bag, “and I’ve got puppy gloves, and some puppy toys.”

“What, like, actual dog toys?”

“No,” Zach said quickly. “That’s not, like, good for your jaw. No, these are just… baby toys.”

“Baby toys,” Eugene said, his voice flat. 

“Because they’re easier on your jaw,” Zach said. 

“You put a lot of thought into this, didn’t you?”

Eugene tried to sound like he wasn’t nervous. 

Why was he so damn nervous in the first place?

“I do my best,” Zach said, and then he was placing the headband on Eugene’s head. “There we go.” 

Eugene blushed.

He was… trying not to think about this. 

Um.

How did he get out of his own head?

He remembered the last time he’d been sitting on the floor - tried to access that headspace.

Okay.

He could do it. 

He took a deep breath, and then he tried to more or less get back to himself.

Okay. 

“Give me a paw,” said Zach.

“They’re still hands,” Eugene said. “I’ve got fingers.” 

He wriggled them for emphasis. 

And then he wasn’t wriggling them - they were like boxing gloves, without the thumb.

One, and then the other - there it went, and here he was, hands rendered useless as Zach carefully buckled them closed. 

Huh. 

Eugene rested on his knuckles, and he looked down.

Huh.

This was neat.

“Woof,” Eugene said.

“Who’s a good boy?”

Zach was digging through the bag, and then he was holding… a baby toy?

Eugene looked at the toy, then looked at Zach, one eyebrow up. 

“You wanna play?”

And Zach shook the toy.

It was one of those rings that babies chewed on when they were teething. 

Eugene looked at it, and at Zach’s face, and he was… well, Zach looked like he was into it.

Eugene would do his best.

“C’mon, boy, come and get it.”

And then Eugene was just… climbing onto Zach.

Fuck it.

If he was going to be a puppy, he’d be a puppy.

And what did puppies do?

They climbed all over you. 

He put his… paws? Hands? - they went onto Zach’s shoulders, and then he was nuzzling into Zach’s face.

“Good boy. Such a good boy.” 

Zach’s fingers were in Eugene’s hair, and then Zach was holding out the chew toy. “Here you go. You wanna play?”

Eugene whined, and he was… nuzzling into Zach’s face again, and then he had the plastic in his mouth.

Okay.

It had a seam, which was… well, uncomfortable, but he chewed on it, because it was something in his mouth, and right now, that was what he wanted.

He shook his head vigorously, hard enough that things went a little dizzy, and then he tried growling. 

… why not, right?

He could see himself, far off, in the back of his head, but no. 

No, he was going to fucking… .enjoy himself, even if some bit of him was telling him he looked dumb. 

“Good boy,” said Zach, and he was… hooking his finger into the ring, and he was pulling on it, which was enough to make Eugene pull back. 

It made sense, to just use the one finger - didn’t want to hurt Eugene’s teeth or anything like that.

It was easier to tug and play at being a puppy, to get his head just… emptied out, and some o the anxiety went away. 

He was drooling.

He was drooling, and he was growling, and then Zach let go of the ring, and Eugene was… flat on his back.

Um.

He blinked at Zach, and Zach made an amused noise.

“You want a tummy rub?” 

Eugene paused, gave Zach a Look. 

“When Bowie wants tummy rubs, he lies like this,” said Zach, and then he reached out, and he rubbed Eugene’s belly.

It was… it was an odd feeling.

He’d had his belly rubbed before, obviously, but… well, not like this.

Huh.

He squirmed, and then Zach was leaning over him, beginning to rub a little lower.

“How’s this, buddy?”

Eugene shuddered, and then there was a hand rubbing his cock, gently. 

“Good boy,” Zach said, and he sounded… nervous. 

Zach squirmed, and his hips ground forward, his heels digging into the floor, and he was panting.

The headband was coming loose.

Maybe that was one of the reasons that people went with the hoods. 

They seemed like they’d stay better. 

Maybe he was concentrating on something random, because… well, Zach was just rubbing his cock, gently through his underwear, then not so gently, and... fuck. 

Eugene opened his mouth to moan, to swear, and he… whined.

A long, drawn out whine, and he still had the toy in his mouth.

He wanted to hold it in his hands, but he didn’t have any hands right now.

Fuck.

God, he was… squirming, and he spread his legs a little wider, as Zach’s hand slid into his underwear, wrapped around his cock, and that was… oh fuck, that was good.

That was better than it had a right to be, this was… this was doing things to his head, and he wanted… what did he want?

He wanted to cum.

He wanted to feel pleasure, wanted the endless gabbling in the back of his head to just _shut up_ , and it was… it was there, it was quiet, and it was… fuck, he didn’t realize how loud his head had been, except it was quiet, and it was just the shape of the thing in his mouth, it was the sensation of the carpet against his bare back, it was the sweet pleasure that was skating up and down his back, the pressure that was beginning to build and build in his gut….

Zach shoved Eugene’s underwear down, and then Eugene’s cock was against his belly, and Zach was pumping it, and fuck, it was… god, it was too good, it was more than he could take, he was going to break into a thousand pieces, he was going to… _fuck_.

Eugene came across his own belly, across Zach’s fingers, and he was shaking, still panting as the sweet pleasure thudded through his body, and then he was flat on his back, panting, his mouth going dry from it.

“Good boy,” Zach said, and he was making soothing noises, rubbing circles in Eugene’s belly. “Good boy.” 

And Eugene just… accepted it.

Accepted the praise, accepted the affection, accepted the quiet in his head, and just… breathed.

**Author's Note:**

> Like this fic?
> 
> Want me to write you something like it, or something completely different?
> 
> Come talk to me on my tumblr, theseusinthemaze.tumblr.com!


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